Who Satan Really Is

You guys may think that Satan is some weird red goat man, but he ISN'T. I have proof, and it's the best proof ever. So one day I was searching teh interwebs and I saw a picture thingy called THEREALSATAN.jpg. I looked at it, and guess what I saw... I saw a cookie! 
Yes, satan is a demonic chocolate chip cookie with cute little sparkly eyes. But, you shall not underestimate this cookie, his chocolate chips are chocolate chips of DOOOM. Demons are really just cookie crumbs. But back on topic, when I saw the pic, I was scared so much, I died. Then I came back alive because of swag. So, the cookie then POPPED OUT OF THE SCREEN. He summoned his army of cookie crumbs. But then, a man came out of nowhere (because epic openings are overrated) and guess who he was...
It was rob ford! Since he was really hungry, he ate all the cookie crumbs then burned to death. Cookie satan then proceeded to eat my face. But then the COOKIE MONSTER came out of nowhere and ate the cookie satan. So then everyone turned to major derps and lived happily ever after. The end!
But satan will break free soon... and he will be one... angry...
COOKIE